Post 3

This semester I have learned thru reading Managing Conflict Through Communication, researching different conflict resolution tools, or basically learning through our people's stories and post. I believe that conflict isn't as worse as we think it is, if the right tools is use to handle the situation. Like the process view of Conflict is a group of tools that notice that you are in a conflict; there is prelude to conflict, the triggering event, the initiation phase, differentiation phase, and resolution phase. Each step shows different ways how to handle it. It gives a great definition of usually goes on during each step all of these steps go hand in hand, like the triggering event is the obvious of a rule breaking, or doing to something to hurt the other. Then comes the initiation phase which states that there is a problem. Like I mentioned before these steps tie all together. I really felt that this is important and it is obvious because the authors stated in the beginning chapters. Next, was the communication options in conflict, all the orientation's had really well definitions. The one that really stood out to me was the relationship-centered orientation or in other words the assertive communication. It is a middle group to which failing to stand up for your personal rights or doing so in a dysfunctional way, and aggressiveness. I always thought that the accommodating perspective was a better way because that is the approach that I always take during conflict, now that I further understand it, I realize that I was just deepening the conflict. Using the collaborating phase is the best way to managing conflicts according to Abigail and Cahn. I support these decision also because you get into two people trying to figure out a better solution. Lastly I really liked the S-TLC system, this really helps me understand how to handle the situation. Like I don't lose my head as much as often and instead I relax and try to handle the situation after I am done cooling off. I always try to think before I do something where it can affect the problem even worse. I believe all the tools learned throughout the semester helped me understand conflicts more than before. I was recently in a conflict,but using some of these methods helped solve the problem quicker than usual.

question 2

I really enjoyed the different projects in the class. When I went out and did the conflict resolution workshop, and conducted the interview between the coach and player, it really gave me ideas how to handle each situation. Like the way they handle the situation in the first session is a way I would of handle it also, but when I introduced the different tools on how to manage conflict, it really helped out the coach/player situation. For me, sometimes I gotta see it happen, before I can believe the product actually works. I also seen myself using the the accommodating phase and it is a blessing and a curse because I might have some negative feelings I want to get out but I would feel bad especially if the other person is also going thru a rough time. I see it as no point of being a burden and putting more weight on another persons situation. I firmly believe in the relationship-centered orientation which consist of collaborating and assertive behavior, I would need to practice this approach more and not rely on the past options. I would definitely recommend this class to students, coaches, parents, and everyone else. I feel if people knew how to handle conflict, it may give the world peace, divorce rates may go down, parents and children's relationship will be stronger and coaches/parents/players will have a better connection.

Chapter 16 question 1

I think that people have a negative view of conflict is because people are afraid of confronting a problem. If it relates to problems most people would love to avoid the situation instead of trying to attack it head on and find a easier solution. Most people also either don't like getting attack, or even giving out the attack. I bet most people usually handle a situation where its on impulse; meaning if someone kept nagging and your on your boiling point you will eventually burst. I also believe that people view this negatively because they don't know how to handle being put in a conflict situation; how to manage stress, how to use the S-TLC system, what communication options is best. If people start to learn more about conflict and how to handle it, I think they would fear it less because of past experiences where they might of handled it wrong and the learning tools provided from Abigail and Cahn would get these people to a greater outcome.

post 3

The concept I picked for this week is anxiety. Anxiety is a tension that occurs when people perceive danger in a situation. People can become anxious when they think that someone may interfere with their goals, when they fear their own impulses in a situation, or when they disapprove of their own actions. For example; I remember that I had big interview coming up for a job. My friend also was going for the job also. All week that's all I could of think about, not messing up the interview so I can get this job how would I look if I lost to my friend. My anxiety level kicked up a lot the day off, and I was sweating in my palms, my shirt was drenched like I just got out of a swimming pool. I didn't get the job, my friend got it instead, but everything worked out for the best later on. Also the book says Anxiety may lead us to suppressed issues.

Chapter 12 Post 2

Internal attributions are about another person (she wanted, he hates, she's stupid, he's evil, etc), it often results in name calling and assigning blame. When something gets me frustrated I usually act in the internal attribution concept. Chapter 7 mentioned about hyper stress. It is when it occurs when too many tasks and responsibilities pile up on us and we are unable to adapt to the changes or cope with all that is happening at once. When this happens it leads me getting into the name calling because of the prior stress that I am dealing with. For example; I remember a time when I was trying to cool off and relax by shooting some hoops, while I was playing the game, a guy started "trash talking" so I started saying things that had nothing to do with the situation but the stress situation I am in made say things that were hurtful. It almost lead into a fight but other people broke it up. After that day I try and handle my difficult situations differently so the outcome won't be violent.

Chapter 10 post 1

When I researched forgiveness I found stuff about the bible or something religious I feel because that's what most religions try to preach. I seen couple sites involving love because usually when asking for forgiveness it means that one may be hurting another. When I researched reconciliation it was the same as forgiveness it had religious websites a lot of the roman catholic beliefs.

When I researched revenge a lot more websites came up, some from entertainment weekly, a lot from T.V. series there are movies and shows named after revenge. There is related research on how to get revenge on people. People online different tactics on how to plot a revenge on some. I found a link that had, how the U.S. got its revenge on the AL-Queda of the 2001 attack. Revenge is a negative so there are more to doing something negative than positive. For example; if a person were to get into a fight and it became a 5 on 1, the initial reaction would be to seek revenge and not forgiveness. That's how there are more links for revenge than forgiveness and reconciliation.

Post 3 Concessions

For this week I chose the concessions concept because I know everyone can relate to this situation. Concessions is when one admits the offender's guilt and offer restitution. Concessions are often done in combination with excuses or apologies. I remember when my godfather promised me to take me to a Warriors game, I was ready to go and everything and last min he bailed out on me because he had something to do. I looked up to him because he would treat me like a son, he was like a second dad to me. The next day he made it up to me by taking to me the Warrior game because the team played 2 games in 2 nights, and we went early also to meet the players. He even bought me some new shoes and a jersey to wear to the game. Looking at this situation now, I feel like when I do break a promise like this, I do go beyond extreme measures to make the person happy whether its material things or surprising them with something special.