post 3

The concept I picked for this week is anxiety. Anxiety is a tension that occurs when people perceive danger in a situation. People can become anxious when they think that someone may interfere with their goals, when they fear their own impulses in a situation, or when they disapprove of their own actions. For example; I remember that I had big interview coming up for a job. My friend also was going for the job also. All week that's all I could of think about, not messing up the interview so I can get this job how would I look if I lost to my friend. My anxiety level kicked up a lot the day off, and I was sweating in my palms, my shirt was drenched like I just got out of a swimming pool. I didn't get the job, my friend got it instead, but everything worked out for the best later on. Also the book says Anxiety may lead us to suppressed issues.

Chapter 12 Post 2

Internal attributions are about another person (she wanted, he hates, she's stupid, he's evil, etc), it often results in name calling and assigning blame. When something gets me frustrated I usually act in the internal attribution concept. Chapter 7 mentioned about hyper stress. It is when it occurs when too many tasks and responsibilities pile up on us and we are unable to adapt to the changes or cope with all that is happening at once. When this happens it leads me getting into the name calling because of the prior stress that I am dealing with. For example; I remember a time when I was trying to cool off and relax by shooting some hoops, while I was playing the game, a guy started "trash talking" so I started saying things that had nothing to do with the situation but the stress situation I am in made say things that were hurtful. It almost lead into a fight but other people broke it up. After that day I try and handle my difficult situations differently so the outcome won't be violent.

Chapter 10 post 1

When I researched forgiveness I found stuff about the bible or something religious I feel because that's what most religions try to preach. I seen couple sites involving love because usually when asking for forgiveness it means that one may be hurting another. When I researched reconciliation it was the same as forgiveness it had religious websites a lot of the roman catholic beliefs.

When I researched revenge a lot more websites came up, some from entertainment weekly, a lot from T.V. series there are movies and shows named after revenge. There is related research on how to get revenge on people. People online different tactics on how to plot a revenge on some. I found a link that had, how the U.S. got its revenge on the AL-Queda of the 2001 attack. Revenge is a negative so there are more to doing something negative than positive. For example; if a person were to get into a fight and it became a 5 on 1, the initial reaction would be to seek revenge and not forgiveness. That's how there are more links for revenge than forgiveness and reconciliation.

Post 3 Concessions

For this week I chose the concessions concept because I know everyone can relate to this situation. Concessions is when one admits the offender's guilt and offer restitution. Concessions are often done in combination with excuses or apologies. I remember when my godfather promised me to take me to a Warriors game, I was ready to go and everything and last min he bailed out on me because he had something to do. I looked up to him because he would treat me like a son, he was like a second dad to me. The next day he made it up to me by taking to me the Warrior game because the team played 2 games in 2 nights, and we went early also to meet the players. He even bought me some new shoes and a jersey to wear to the game. Looking at this situation now, I feel like when I do break a promise like this, I do go beyond extreme measures to make the person happy whether its material things or surprising them with something special.

Chapter 10 post 2

There was a situation back when I was in high school I had two friends one was a girl and one was a guy.We were all great friends, they started dating which was something I saw coming. During the relationship my guy friend was abusive physically and verbally, and my girl friend would come talk to me and tell what was going on. One day I headed over to his house for a party, he confronted me in front of everybody and shoved me to the wall and I knocked down chairs and everything he started to swing at me while I was on the ground. I was so embarrassed I couldn't believe that my best friend was attacking me like this I didn't fight back because he was going through some emotional stuff at the time. Maybe a few months after he tried to apologize to me, I stood my ground and I said, "I can't forgive someone who hits women, that's the one thing I absolutely hate." Women don't deserve to be punished like that for no good reason. I explained I wasn't even mad that he tried to show me up at the party I was more upset how he treated our friend. The whole situation died over after a year or two, but it was difficult for me because I have seen this done to my relatives because of some of the men they dated were abusive like this.

Chapter 9 post 1

I don't use Facebook but back in the day I used to have a Myspace account. I would present myself in a way that wasn't to out there, maybe a profile picture where I am doing an activity that I liked i.e. basketball. With the things that I post about myself, I hope people get the notion that I am outgoing, fun-loving, laid back, and funny person. I never post anything negative about anyone; just funny stuff or funny comments. When I used to read others profiles I say to myself, "damn those things are kinda personal" its things I would never post to the world. There was a situation where my friend and I were arguing and he posted something about me which was a secret and he posted it on Myspace. I was in shock that he would do such a thing, This was explained in the book as the Reproach concept; he had a lot of explaining to do something so low. He said he was drunk and wanted to vent online about everything and as he was posting on others. When he got to my profile he was already enraged and told somethings about me that were not real but he posted the secret. He apologize about it but it was hard to trust that person. I dropped the beef real quick like within a day or two just because I don't hold grudges and I am an easy going person, but that's the tough part because my personality can also lead me to getting "walked all over on."