Chapter 7 Post 3 Distress

The concept I chose for this week was the distress concept from chapter 7. The book describes distress as, "people may experience distress, which arises when they don't feel that they have control over the situation and when the source of stress is unclear. Also distress is experienced more by some then others or occurs at different times in people's lives. My experience was a couple semesters ago where I had to do a group presentation to a bunch of people convincing them that its better to rent than to buy especially during these rough times. I know it sounds pretty simple; but before and the day off the presentation my friends told me I wasn't being myself,doing things that usually I don't do, I was getting headaches and stomach problems. After the presentation all the symptoms went away, it was just the thought of trying to convince strangers and the questions that might arise scared me. Once I knew I could conquer that situation, it was a little it easier now doing presentations to strangers.

Chapter 8 Post 2

When managing anger I tend to use the anger-ins in which I do not express my anger to the person who upset me. I feel like even though I am angry I don't want to hurt the other persons feelings. The book says that anger-in people tend to use the ventilation approach. This approach is talking to everyone besides the person you are mad at; to seek advice, or a different way to look at the situation. An example I would like to share is when I got upset because one of my coaches kept getting on me for being lazy during practice which I wasn't. He constantly picked on me; I was so mad I wanted to lash out but instead I chatted with my teammates, other coaches, and my parents. Then I took the "anger controllers" concept and applied with my coach; I told him how I felt but in a constructive and respectful way. He told me that he does that because he knew he thought he could challenge me to get better, he didn't know he was tearing me down inside. He still yelled at me but in a more positive way which helped our relationship.

Chapter 7 post 1

I view all three solutions as a great way to view stress. The first and second solutions probably works out better for me because of the balance of school, work, and my own personal time. The book states that we can view work as what we do for the sake of something else, while play is what we do for its own sake. This relates to school for me because we need to finish school to get a better paying job. That is the outcome we want when get the degree but at the same time I find myself looking at it as a game. I challenge myself in class and at work so that there an incentive to going everyday. Maybe at school I set a little goal for myself i.e. participant more in class when discussion get dull, or at work lets set a better product out than yesterday; lets put a smile on everyone's face and let our customer service be 110%. The book states this as "lighten up to take the view that play is an attitude of mind that may pervade any human activity."

Chapter 6 question 3

The concept I chose for this chapter was thromise. Thromise is a message that sounds like a promise (i.e., if you do x you will receive y) but operates like a threat because there is a penalty associated with noncompliance that may hurt the recipient. The recipient doesn't simply fail to receive a benefit.

Growing up I heard this concept a lot from parents, coaches, managers, and teachers. The example I want to share with everyone is when teachers give this incentive but give a harsh punishment towards the end. I remember a teacher for math (which was my worse subject) saying that if you got a grade that you didn't like on a quiz/test; its alright because it's just 10% to 20% of your grade, I have extra credit to boost those grades up. Little did I know that if anything was answered wrong or left blanked on the extra credit it would lower our test score. If I remember correctly the highest grade in the class was a B minus, I was just fortunate that I started figuring out to do well (at least a C or better) on the quiz/ test and I would be good. I ended the class with a low C which is still considered passing.

Chapter 6 question 2

In a unbalanced power relationship; it can really depend who has the power in the relationship. The one with the power usually feels happy and dominant about the relationship. The person with the less power may feel insecure about the relationship and not comfortable but sometimes you 'll never realize it because maybe the dominate person in the relationship has a good stranglehold. If I had power I feel more comfortable; like going to a place where I am accustomed to I have more confidence going into it. Other examples are; being prepared for a presentation, knowing the professor you are taking. For less power can be something where a person goes outside their comfort zone, like going to a party undressed and everyone you see in a stranger, or coaching a bunch of kids where other coaches are judging you how well the practicing is going. I believe though that it depends on the situation you are in at the time of this conflict climate.

Chapter 6 question 1

Trust is something between two people that cherish the relationship. A friend, family, a significant other or an elder; those are usually people we trust. The book describes TRUST as the belief that another is benevolent or honest toward the trusting individual, and that the other person's caring transcends any direct benefits the other receives as a result of caring.

The time I lost trust to someone was when with my best friend who told me that he would always have my back; and never cross me. Back in high school around my sophomore year, my so called friend knew everything about me, he told people nasty rumors about me that weren't true, but he also told some personal stuff about my life around school. That hurt our relationship and we didn't speak for a while I was so pissed I wanted to fight him and say stuff about him; but that wasn't me so I just decided not to talk to him. About 5 years gone by I saw him at the community college;I went up to him and said was-sup. We talked for a bit and he said want to grab lunch and chat about what happen. He said that he was mad because I was talking to a girl he liked that I never knew; and he plotted to go against me; he apologize as did I but I told him that was in the past lets just move on because we in college and we grown already. No need for some high school drama to ruin our friendship. We speak almost everyday now when he isn't busy with work and hang out all the time.