I believe there is a big difference between abusive and being strict. Parents who have rules and set the rules for reason are being strict. The parents usually have rules about curfew, going to bed early on a school night, getting your homework done before you can hang out with friends, or not getting into trouble. There are consequences for these rules, some parents may hit you or some parents might take away something you like to do as punishment; but then talk to you afterwards on why they are strict on the rules. On the other hand, parents that just hit there kids to the point they have to wear clothing to cover the wounds; that's an abusive parent. Those parents have rules too; but there agenda is different. I feel like they want to scare the kid when abusive parents do this and it isn't safe for the kids.
Also when parents push there child it should involve being positive where a child knows there goals; and if there goals aren't met if there is an alternative. I experience where pushing is a positive in my life. My parents still push me till this day. They push me so that I can do better than they did. I know that sometimes the pushing can get to the point where it maybe too much, where a kid might commit suicide or push so much when they fail the parents see them as worthless. I feel like pushing a kid but knowing there limits also is a great way to have a great relationship with the kid.
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I agree that a big difference between being abusive and strict has to do with the parent's intent; however, I do not think that physical abuse of any kind should be used as a means of enforcement. Parents need to take into consideration that the way they choose to parent their child will have a deep impact on the decisions they make and who they become. Sometimes, parents practice verbal abuse as a means of punishment which can be just as detrimental as physical abuse.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your second paragraph that there is a difference between pushing your kids is both positive and encouraging. Through this method, parents can be seen as supportive which will help them to maintain a positive relationship with their child.