Friday, February 3, 2012
Post 2 Conflict
The concept that I take a non process view on is conflict. During a conflict especially with a loved one I tend to take everything in, or if I had a very rough day and they keep on nagging; I tend to let everything out. I believe the book mentions the triggering event; where maybe something can get on your last nerve; and the initiation phase where the other person makes it known that there is an argument. I never saw a conflict broken down in a series among of stages. For me; it's get mad and solve it; or get mad, take a day or two to cool things down. After seeing how the process works and the steps need to be taken; I will make a better effort to trying this process of five step sequence. Also I think it may differ with using this process because if I am arguing with someone that I first met; I'm pretty sure I would take my process onto account; but if it is a friend, family, lover, it is a little bit easier to do the 5 step sequence.
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I totally have a sense for where you are coming from, my mother is almost the same, this concept really makes you think of it as a balloon, its going to take in as much water as possible, then its going to eventually pop. I think this concept can help people with getting over conflict because the process can clearly help fix the problems with making you feel better. Its very important that we overview situations before we take steps towards doing anything about them, and this concept can clearly help. Good Post!
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It is amazing how different conflict appears when we look at it from a process perspective. I think that just the awareness that there are steps helps to cool down the boiling blood at times. I have also noticed that the "let's get back together and review our outcome/progress" step is much more likely to happen in non-family scenarios with something like a shared project. For some reason, it seems foreign at first to "schedule" conflict management meetings with family members although the benefits would certainly outweigh the discomfort.
DeleteI totally agree with you, except for me I go more for avoidance. I hate confrontation and whenever there is a conflict I think that it is better to just go with the flow. The only problem is whenever I feel very passionate about something I have no problem standing my ground which usually makes the conflict worse. I too agree that the processes can help us get over conflict.
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